Good morning! I try to stick to decor and design posts on Monday, but I didn't get to finish my photos of our family room, kitchen and dining room before we left town for the week. I am dying to show all that to you, though - things are looking pretty spiffy!

Obviously, the above photo has nothing to do with any of that. You guys know I've been training for a half marathon, in Philly, and if you follow me on Facebook, you've already seen this photo. Bret's aunt snapped this after I finished yesterday and started feeding Westley. You can see his little woolly feet sticking out from the cape. This race was such a mind game for me. I've only run one other half - 13 years ago. To train for one now, when I'm actually a more serious runner, but am also six months postpartum and thirteen years older, was an interesting experience. 

If I never had any great training runs, I might have set a simple goal of just finishing the darn thing, but once I had a few good sessions, I started to think I might be able to crush it, personally speaking. The whole time I trained (last four months?), I swung wildly back and forth between ridiculous optimism after a good run to soul crushing panic if I couldn't squeeze training in that week.

Yesterday, I ran the race itself. I was so nervous about logistics - where to stay, if I could get any sleep, nursing Westley, getting there, having Bret meet up with my sister to cheer me on - and I also felt like I had no time to solve any of those issues until the last possible second, because I've just been so slammed with life.

But it all worked out. Bret's aunt let us stay at her place in Center City, so I could wake up and jog straight to the race. Perfect. West slept 'til 4 am. Fine. I fed him then, and again at 5:30 before I left. In between, I couldn't sleep, but I laid there with my race calculator, figuring that the best I could hope for, based on past runs, was about 2:05. Had been hoping for less than 2 hours, but resigned myself to that. My sister and Bret coordinated (although they sadly missed me. Note to race cheerers: it's hard to understate your importance to the runners! Try to set up something beforehand so they know where and how to seek you out. I was too overwhelmed to do that this time).

Warning: Boring runner talk ahead.

The race itself was great. It's a fast run that winds through different parts of the city, so you get to see a lot of different neighborhoods. I really enjoyed it. I started out slower than I planned, so then I had to make up some time, but I had an app on my phone that told me my pace, and I stalked a couple runners in the crowd, staying with them to make sure I didn't slack.

Running is a head game. There's a reason why older (35-45) distance runners actually often out perform younger folks; there's an element of maturity you might not expect. You have to be disciplined pacing-wise, and be able to plan your race and stick to it, but you also have to be disciplined pain-wise. Yesterday, about mile 5, I asked myself if I was holding back because I was afraid of pain later in the race. I decided I was holding back, a little, and so the next question is: What are you afraid of? If you're afraid of discomfort down the line, then forget about it. Do your best right now, and deal with later when later gets here. So I did. (Within reason, obviously. The article links above discusses how women are better pacers then men; I wasn't sprinting, but I was working hard). As the race went on, every time I started to flag a bit, I'd say to myself: Do not flag unless you MUST. You don't want to hate yourself later because you were feeling a little uncomfortable on mile eight. I think all runners have mantras, and among others, I have to admit that I really appreciate the Nike slogan. Whatever else you can say about the company, the simplicity of telling yourself to just do it - to stop complaining about it or fearing it or over-analyzing it - is exactly the kind of mantra I find helpful in a race.

Personally speaking, this was my best half marathon...out of both of them. But it was also my best run, probably ever. Last summer, I ran six miles at 7.5 min/mile pace. That was my fastest run ever, and it was just me and my headphones. This race, my pace was 9:06 for 13 miles for an official time of 1:59. My personal race tracker actually had me at 8:47 min/miles for a total time of 1:55 (your run differs a little from exactly how they map out the course. I take the 1:59 as my time for the course, but I ran 13.1 miles in 1:55 yesterday, too, and that's badass). I'm pretty stoked. So stoked I plan to keep doing these. I think half marathons are the perfect distance: they're legitimately hard, but they don't take the time, training, that a full marathon does, and nor are they so hard on your body. I do want to run a full marathon - NYC, please - in a few years. But until then, I'm thinking a half every spring and fall. Having the goal is such motivation to get out there and run - when otherwise I would certainly have jogged my way to the coffee shop - and finishing was amazing. My hips and quads hurt a little today, and I'm hobbling a bit, but just a bit.

Thanks for following along this journey! It's been long and I know it's detracted from the blog a little. It really is a sacrifice, to train for these things: Leaving Bret and the kids snug under blankets enjoying each other for runs was sometimes tough. But sometimes, it was exhilarating, just me and my headphones, to get out there.

It's a short week, so I'm going to try to be back tomorrow and Wednesday in lieu of Thursday and Friday. See you then!